


Finn's Mum

by amanda_jolene



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Gen, TW: ed talk, TW: non-major character suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 20:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1996044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amanda_jolene/pseuds/amanda_jolene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Finn didn't tell Rae everything about his mum. TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains ED talk and mention of suicide. If you are triggered by these things, please do not read this work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finn's Mum

He’s drunk. Really drunk. 

It wasn’t supposed to happen. He didn’t want to drink, didn’t want her to drink either but he figured he’d let her have one and move in for a kiss or two, direct them upstairs and away from the vodka because he wanted to be sober for whatever she was ready for and if she were drunk, he wouldn’t be ready for anything. 

But then she had found that picture of him and Stacey. He had wanted to explain that they hadn’t lasted that long and that he hadn’t meant to keep the picture and that everything he felt for Rae was raw and new but she looked at him so sour and he was so desperate to salvage the night that he had wriggled around like a puppy and gave an embarrassing sort of laugh and leaned in for kiss that lasted a tenth of a second before she’s offering him a drink. He tries again and gets cut down more forcefully and he really does feel bad abot everything and only wants to appease her. 

One drink won’t hurt. 

But one drink turns to three turns to lost count and he’s sure he’s saying no but the glass keeps raising to his mouth so maybe he’s only thinking it. He’s got his chin on her shoulder and he’s just about to tell her that she’s beautiful and he feels so damn lucky that she’ll have him but the room tilts. He closes his eyes but he can feel the floor shift and he’s stumbling down the hall and up the stairs. He hasn’t been this drunk in a long time and as the first wave of nausea hit him, he wonders how he could have let this happen. 

Drunk Finn doesn’t have much of a filter. He tries but it keeps slipping. He’s managed to slink downstairs and finds her looking through another photo album. He’s back on the cushion but he’s not eager anymore because he’s ruined everything. 

"Where was this taken?" She asks. 

He squints at the picture. It’s of him and his Mum at his Gran’s house and he means to say this but “My mum was in a hospital like you” comes out instead. 

"What do you mean?" 

"She got it in her head that wasn’t pretty enough or skinny enough so she started exercising and stopped eating." He leans over Rae and points at the stairs. "Used to run up and down those things all day long. All day. I’d her at night, too, especially if she ate anything. She got to be so tiny. I were just 9 and even my clothes were too big for her, can you imagine? Still thought she wasn’t right after all of that. Dad had her checked into a hospital and when she came home, she was well for a time." He picks up the bottle and spins it around, find it empty and feels terribly disappointed but he’s not sure why anymore. His hands need something to do so he picks up his glass and rolls it in his hands. 

"Finn… what happened to her?" 

"My aunt told her she gained weight at the holidays. Still remember that because we came home and I could hear her crying to my dad, saying how ugly she felt and how no one loved her and then she was just gone. Hung herself in the shower while we were asleep and it wasn’t fucking fair because she never asked me if I love her. I did love her, Rae. I did." 

He lets he pet his hair but when she tries to soothe him, he shakes her off. “I don’t need that. Never did. I never cried over it because if I did,” he softly pitches the glass in his hand and they watch it arc high and then fall fast and Rae cringes when it shatters. “I’d never stop.” 

He takes in the empty bottle and the broken glass and the photo album and this is not how he planned for the night to go. She looks at him sadly and the world tilts and he mumble, “I think I need to lay down.” 

(She’s not there in the morning but the place is cleaned up. He takes that picture of him and Stacey and tears it up into a million pieces.)


End file.
